It’s the rare person who snaps their fingers and starts a new habit or stops a “bad” one overnight. How often have you told yourself something like this, “Starting tomorrow I will STOP doing the thing.” or “Beginning tomorrow I will START doing the thing.” The “thing” can be anything from exercising to eliminating sugar to being nicer to a spouse or child. What’s your thing?
My thing was a daily glass of wine and sometimes two. It’s a habit that had been nagging at me for a while. Intellectually I knew it was not a great thing. I tried telling myself that it was expensive, unnecessary, not great for my health. And, as the daughter and sister of type 1 diabetics, I knew that minimizing sugar was important for me. Yet, I couldn’t quite turn off the switch and simply stop my wine habit.
It took quite a bit of trial and error along with a process that I learned as a Behavior Change Facilitator. I have outlined this process below along with other helpful tips, strategies and resources that helped along the way!
The process involves Mapping out your habit loop. You can’t change what you don’t see, so start by mapping out your habit which consists of the trigger, the behavior and the result. By mapping my habit, I learned that end of day stress was a trigger for me and that was my first step. Check out the link to the habit mapper and see what you discover.
Next I worked on building up my disenchantment over the nightly wine. This does NOT mean shaming myself or talking myself out of it! It means PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION while doing the “thing”. When I paid attention, rather than mindlessly drinking the wine, I noticed that it was much sweeter than I remembered. I also noticed that after a short time my energy was zapped after having the wine. Although I did get a brief relief, I started to see that it was short lived. I kept doing this practice day after day. I didn’t change my behavior at this point, I was simply paying close attention to the experience. This is the part of the process where I am rewiring my brain!
After leaning into the wine, I tinkered with having a glass of sparkling water with a lime instead. I continued to pay attention and noticed how refreshing it was and I enjoyed it. I told myself that I could still have wine but I started with the seltzer first and just paid attention to that. This is where the brain is starting to update the reward value of the wine and comparing it to other options. Some nights I had wine and other nights I chose the seltzer.
I experimented with skipping alcohol at a low stakes social. It was a parent social for my son’s lax team and I ordered an NA beer. I didn’t tell anyone and just went about the night. I engaged with others and tried to notice if I was having more or less fun without alcohol. My verdict was: no difference. I slept better too!
Scare tactics and reading about the dangers of alcohol did absolutely nothing for me. The catalyst for my Sober experiment was a Rich Roll Podcast episode with Andy Ramage. Andy was a “middle lane” drinker who eventually realized that every aspect of his life would be better if he gave up alcohol. His enthusiasm for a Sober life was contagious and inspiring!
If you are looking for a community and more positivity, check out his DRYY app for some inspiration.
Last but not least, BE KIND TO YOURSELF during the process. Because IT IS A PROCESS! There WILL BE SLIP-UPS and that’s normal! Rather than berating yourself, how about asking yourself, “What can I learn from this?” That’s how real progress takes place.